“My parents are forcing me to get married! What do I do?”
“I am facing a lot of pressure from my mother and father to go into an arranged marriage”
“I am just 24 and I don’t want to get married so soon. I want to be a career-oriented woman and a girl who pursues her dream job”
“My whole family is trying to convince me and my boyfriend to get married right away instead of waiting for one more year. How do I convince them?”
These questions are not uncommon, especially in the Indian culture system. Parents do feel pressured to coax their daughters into getting married – sometimes due to their own wish or sometimes due to the wishes of relatives and elders.
If you think you are too young to get married and have other priorities in your mind, dealing with the situation is easier than you think. It might feel like a tough nut to crack, to convince your mom and dad to let you fulfil your ambitions first and then move on to marital responsibilities. What are your chances? Better than you think. Instead of approaching the situation negatively, focus on showing your parents and the society what you are capable of as an individual. Here’s how you can procrastinate and delay your dream wedding to a time when you feel everything is just right.
1. Go for higher education or take an additional course
If you have desires to learn and earn for yourself, opt for a higher education or some additional course that can add feather in your hat. In doing so, you will have a good reason to convince your parents to delay their plans of getting you married. A better education will also empower yourself as an individual.
2. Get a decent job and stay career-focused
If your parents think that you’re not capable enough to fend for your own self, prove them wrong by taking up a job. Show them that you are a career-focused woman and you don’t need to be dependent on a man for your income.
Once you stand on your own feet, you can later switch jobs as per your choice. Does that actually sound like Kangana Ranaut’s real life story?
3. Communicate with your parents and set a deadline
Communication is key when it comes to finding common ground with your mom and dad regarding your plans of getting married. Acquaint them about your career and life choices and request them to allow you some time to pursue your goals. Set a deadlines for ‘x number of years’ and push yourself to the maximum during that time. The next thing you will see them is supporting you in the cause.
4. Point out the cons of early marriages
Getting married at a very early age can hinder a girl’s growth, be it mentally or individually. Tell your parents about the repercussions of such marriages with examples and be sure to have their consent on your card. Instead of fighting with them, show them the practical and real disadvantages of marrying off their daughter an a very early age, especially when she is not mentally ready.
5. Reveal your relationship status, if you are in one
It might not be a good idea to keep your parents in the dark about your relationships, girlfriend or boyfriend at a time when you are of marriageable age and the pressure is on you.
If you’re in a relationship and need some time to get stable, tell your parents about it. Don’t try to hide the fact from them. They deserve to know the truth. Who knows, they might actually be expecting this from you.
6. Take examples of successful girls who are unmarried
Tell your parents about people who haven’t gotten married yet and are scaling well in their career. That might heal their worries a little.
7. Communicate about your priorities
Nobody in the universe will be able to understand your priorities better than your loved ones. Make them a part of the process and ensure them that this is for the better.
8. Be clear about your views right from the start
Don’t give any scope to your relatives and society to dominate your preferences at all. Whether anyone likes it or not, you should always be in charge of your life.
9. Nip the core problem in the bud (read: pesky relatives)
There might be a possibility that somebody else would have brainwashed your parents’ mind and coaxed them to get you married as soon as possible. In Indian society, this is most likely to be chacha, chachi, mama, mami, bua or even padaus waali aunty! You need to find it out and nip the whole issue in the bud.
10. Reject suitors!
And after trying everything, even if you don’t seem to be getting anywhere, just give in before their wishes. But ssshhh, meet and reject guys till the time you find yourself in a stable position. Rest assured…